Dear entirely too good looking people of the world, enough.

     Those of us who are average go-getters get the shit end of the stick while you seem to always land the perfect job, cop perfect style, and vacation to Vegas seemingly every other week to unwind from your very well paying job, that allows you to also unwind every night at happy hours equivalent to most of our rent checks. I understand that some of you are truly nice and hardworking people, which only makes it worse. You are throwing off the balance of the universe! It is unfair that you're allowed to possess all good physical and emotional qualities when the rest of us have to hide tragic character flaws beneath a less than stellar exterior. We use angles and instagram to help us look tolerable as you post unfiltered pictures of you without any makeup looking better than we do with 12 filters in the middle of the summer.
     Movies like "She's All That" are totally off the mark in evening the score too. You're telling me that a girl that hot would go unnoticed by her peers because she was artsy with glasses?! Someone that good looking could be in an a cappella group called "I Just Took a Shit" who only sang in varying fart noises and some doof would find that "cute." If you're good looking enough, your interests will be found to be interesting. Period. Example: If Ryan Gosling had a real hankering for following Nickelback on tour, but also agreed to date me, I think we all know who the biggest fan of that self-loathing white boy band would be. Call me materialistic. No, really...do it.
     Weird hobbies, character flaws, and the crazy factor are strictly based on a ratio of hottness scale. I am not just attacking guys here, either. We women are just as bad. Our sad story of being drawn to the "bad boy" is bullshit. No one is drawn to being treated like shit. They are drawn to someone physically, and have a higher threshold for bullshit due to the pretty package that the bullshit comes in. There is a reason that your devastatingly hot ex has always and will always treat girls like shit...because he can. Unfortunately, we as women do not have the willpower to excommunicate these women breakers in the name of our sistas. We think too much with our vaginas and not enough with our loyalty..and by we, I mean an overwhelming amount of people in my life, but not necessarily yours.
     With two brothers and various male friends, I've had the pleasure of observing lots of different relationships, and enjoying the different gender dynamics. The "I only go for bad boys" girls, are undoubtedly dragging along someone far superior to the narcissist she wishes would text her, because she needs the confidence boost. That's not to say she doesn't like him to some extent. God forbid someone with actual interest approaches him, then she will be suddenly protective of her lapdog, and fiercely competitive for his attention. The same goes for men. Once the girl quits vying for their attention, the lap dog is suddenly quite a threat, and she is hotter than ever. However, I digress. Average people of the world, try those sweepy bangs that will probably look weird on your misshapen forehead, get the neon jeans, put a fedora on and stand your ground. Your day will come, but theirs will probably come first.